YOUR FAVORITE ALCOHOLIC CHEF

Today, I had milk stout and mixed it in with some oatmeal stout.

By ten a.m., I was onto my chickory stout, you know cause I can’t function without my cuppa joe.

Takeaway lesson: breakfast is the most important meal of the day!

Thinkin’ about holding a contest for creative recipes. I don’t want to break the bank… but it should be something fun. Does anyone have ideas for a fun prize?

If you live in a nice place where it’s sunny all the time, good for you. For the rest of us, it is finally summer. Here’s the recipe for one of my faves.

- Tear a small handful of mint leaves (about 8-12) into a highball glass. At home, I just use a pint glass.

- Add 2 table spoons of cane sugar

- And the juice of 1 lime

- Mash. Don’t be shy.

- Add 3oz of light rum

- Fill to the top with club soda. If you’re doing this in a pint glass, fill it 3/4 of the way up.

- Garnish with a wheel of lime and a sprig of mint

I think the duck sauce you get with your Chinese take out is wimpy. Follow this recipe for a sauce that has a little kick. Goes well with roast pork, spring rolls, chicken on a stick…

- 1/4 cup orange marmalade 

- 1/4 cup apricot preserves

- 1 tablespoon of soy sauce

- 1 tablespoon of sriracha

- 1.5 ounces of your favorite spiced rum

- 1.5 ounces of grand marnier 

I love Orangina. Judge me if you want, but that stuff is good.

So here is a recipe, internet friends, for Orangina Margarita. Plenty of tequila and sugar to give you a good hangover in the morning.

- 2 oz. Orangina

- 2 oz. Tequila (100% agave kind, anything else is trash)

- 1 oz. lime juice (if using fresh, add 1/2 tsp sugar)

- 1/2 oz. Cointreau or Grand Marnier

- orange slices

Squeeze some orange oil into the bottom of your glass.  Dump the rest of the orange slice into a martini shaker. Add a bunch of ice and the rest of your booze, Orangina into the mixer.

Shake.

Pour.

Drink.

It ain’t rocket science.  Enjoy.  I did. For breakfast.

All I’ve been doing for the past few days has been: get drunk, stumble home, eat some hotdogs and pass out.

Hotdogs are the best drunk food in the world, so if you’re a drunk worth your salt (and chances are, you’re not) you’d keep some hotdogs in your fridge.

What makes hotdogs so amazing?

1. it’s warm, and nothing’s better than eating warm food when you’re starving.

2. it takes literally five minutes to make.

3. it’s salty and full of protein - which is exactly what you crave after a drinking binge and it’ll keep you satisfied.

4. the bread soaks up excess booze and keeps your stomach from doing flippyflops from cheap liquor. (Yeah, we know you’re not a top shelf kinda person if you’re reading this blog).

So remember, keep hotdogs in your house. You’ll regret a lot of things in the morning, but the one thing you won’t regret is having some hot dogs.

i’m drunk. and these things happen. i’m saddened to tell youthat i;m not the only one to do this tonight. most opeopel ar e just embarrassed to say so. why do i drink? i donltknow. maybe it’s because my job is meaningless and i hate myself? but that’s the easy answer. honestly. i drink becaseu i’m sad. but i cook because it’s all about control. and telling you what honestly makes me complete and full full of life is knowing that i matter. so there it is. whatever. i’m sorry i’m drunk. but not really. cause really. i named this blog with intent. woo. make a cocktail.  a meat one.

someone finally explaioned what the ### and FF and FOllyowfriday on the twiter is. so ##FFFF me. thanks. shotshotshotshotsshotseverybody!

It’s time to play catch up. Time for dinner yet? No. Beer for dinner!